A girl called by any other name is an angry girl

I guess, half of the dogs in Kharkov during the 90s bore the proud name of “Dick”, which might have appeared here in some way under the influence of American movies but nobody really managed to look it up in a dictionary.

So, I think, name confusion is caused by three reasons: first – the lack of knowledge, the second – names’ traveling from one culture to another, and the third – pronunciation.

Johann Bach, Sebastian Bach or Johann Sebastian? – That is the question. There is no such thing as a middle name in Ukraine or either in Russia , we only have the patrimony. Written in passport after the last name, it is used in formal communication. Somebody who is lower in status than you or much younger will use a full (not shortened) first name and a patronymic, talking to you. For example, you wouldn’t call your boss or teacher by first name without patronymic (at least in public). That’s why middle names are so confusing for Ukrainians: we don’t know whether we can take them out or not while writing or speaking and shouldn’t we leave out the first name calling a person by his/her middle one. For example I have learned once that I can’t shorten Austrian and German names by its middle. You may say “Amadeus Mozart” (instead of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart), but “Wolfgang Mozart” is unacceptable. The same happens with Bach.

Since some cultures (like America) have a different policy about middle names, that makes it more convoluted to figure out what you should do, especially if you work on the border or in a bank and have to pretend you are a “know-it-all” person. In this position asking somebody which way their names should be written might seem too humiliating. That’s why John has so many different versions of his own name, and now it’s almost impossible to keep track of him with all his new aliases in Ukraine.

“WE, Nicolas the second”. Definitely nobody uses a “family” name in Ukraine, because there is a superstition about giving a person the name of a dead relative. And nobody would say “Helen the third” of “the fifth” because in the history only the kings and queens ever had an order number added to their names.

Russian names and aliens. But the most awkward thing for me is when other nationalities use Russian names for their children, which don’t match them (from my point of view) at all. Surprisingly, I found out that Korean boys and girls prefer to call them by Russian names which are randomly picked by them or their parents. At first I thought parents do that to simplify communication with Russian-speaking teachers, but recently I have realized they dislike their native names and don’t like me using them. Well, I don’t really think it has much to do with the fascination of Russian names, but maybe there is some sort of racial thing. I need some more time to figure this out.

Pronunciation. I’m not sure about all Russian names, but my name seems to be quite difficult to pronounce it right. I have heard miscellaneous “Elaine”, “Elena”, “Yeleina” and many others instead of my real name. That’s why I prefer Helen to Елена if I talk to English-speaking person.

Posted by Helen

A Rose by any other name is still a Rose.

In America, people have a propensity to work during the week and then buy stuff to clutter up their homes on the weekend. Being a poor English teacher in Ukraine I don’t have the disposable income to buy more crap from China. However, since the currency exchange laws were changed I have started to accumulate the “Exchange of Unspent Hryvnias for Foreign Currency” certificates. Since Russians don’t really understand the format of American names; none of them have my name listed the same way. According to the form, it should be surname followed by the given name. On one I can’t even understand what is written. Another is almost correct but it seems to have my given name as “Jon” plus it has my middle name. An additional document just has my two given names (first + middle) but is missing my last name. This name mystification seemed like a good topic for this humble blog about life in Ukraine.

Generally, in America when a couple gets married the women will take the man’s last name. Some famous women will keep there last name and other women may also do it for professional reasons. Some will even take a hyphenated name. For example, If Miss Jones marries Mr. Smith she may take the name Mrs. Smith-Jones.

These days it seems like people are always trying to come up with unique boutique names for their children. In the past, things were much simpler. For example during the 1960’s the top boy’s names were:

• Michael
• David
• John
• James
• Robert
• Mark
• William
• Richard
• Thomas
• Jeffrey

    There are four boys in my family and not only are all our first names on this list but so are half of our middle names. Obviously, my parents were not that original. They just followed cultural norms. Sometimes children are given first or middle names that were used by their relatives. For example, President John Fitzgerald Kennedy’s middle name came from his mother’s maiden name.  Russians do not have middle names. What seems like a middle name is actually the patronymic name. This is a version of the father’s name that means some thing like “daughter of” or “son of.” I guess this is like the Bible; Jesus was begot of Joseph (well that is probably what the neighbors thought anyway?) who was begot of Heli and so on and so on until Adam and Eve were begot of God.

Of course, it is also common to give the first son the same name as his father. The father would be John Smith Senior (Sr.) and the son would be John Smith junior (Jr.). If this tradition continued in future generations then you would have John III (the third), John IV, John V and John VI. Of course, if you had a really awesome name like say George Foreman for example then you could name all five of your sons George and have George Sr. thru George VI all running around the same house. I’m not quite sure what would happen if someone called and asked for George.

            I had a little trouble keeping up with all the Russian nicknames. Natalya = Natahia. Aleksandra = Sasha etc. The one that seems most amusing to Americans is Anastasiya = Nastya . Of course we also have our John = Jack, Edward = Ted, Richard = Dick and William = Bill.

Americans seem to have a picture or idea pop into their head for some Russian names. If they hear Boris & Natasha older Americans will think of an animated cartoon from the 1960s. Anastasia will invoke the image of the last Russian Royal Family and just do an image search on Google to see what they would think of for the name “Igor”.  Of course, many of the Russian names are mispronounced by English speakers. Igor for example doesn’t sound the way Americans think.

On a final note, I have heard of something called “Name Day”. I think I first learned of  this from a guide book. There are a number of days of the year noted as the day for a certain name. One name might have four of so days. Some of the days originate from when a Saint was born. Apparently, someone would take the first such day after their birthday for another special day. While I have heard of this tradition; I have never heard it mentioned once while I have been in Ukraine. It may have been more popular before the Revolution. There are a number of literary references including being mentioned in War & Peace.

Posted by John

“As you name the boat, so shall it float”

          (This is a response to the previous post by John)

         I.T. is a very popular and in-demand professional sphere in Ukraine at the moment, so it is no wonder that it gave birth to some sort of vogue. It is not surprising that on this prevailing wave a place such as the IT-café appeared in Kharkov. I think this is all about the moniker “IT-café” which definitely helps this establishment gain some status. Most likely it sounds more official, serious and less informal if you schedule an appointment with someone at a enterprise like this instead of the “Potato House” for example. ‘I have spent last night at IT café’ – seems like a person was involved in some important activity, while ‘I went to the Potato House’ doesn’t make you feel the same respect.
        I have visited the IT-café on Universitet only once, so I’m not really a competent judge, but I have made up my mind by its first “appearance”.
        I definitely disagree with John. I don’t think that the atmosphere is that good considering the slow service and small tables which are hardly spacious enough to put both your computer and a drink. Imagine if there are more than two people at the table and they are trying to have dinner and use the internet at the same time.
        The IT-café is good for you though, if you have extra time to seek internet access in a café while traveling through the city, and some excessive money to spend. Of course you can’t go there only to use the internet without ordering food, drinks or renting a computer, which are not that inexpensive as John said. Anything you ask for (even a beer) will cost you more than daily internet access, as compared to Kharkov internet providers who charge approximately 2-3 hryvna per day (about 30-50 cents). Needless to say, a dinner sometimes will cost you more than your monthly home internet bill.
        So the IT-café is a bad choice for those who only need to jump on the information super highway. You would be better off by setting it up at home and saving your time (time = money). You might as well drink beer at home spending only 5 hryvna instead of 15.
       On the other hand, the IT-café definitely will do in case of emergency if your home internet goes down when you have to make a Skype call or something else urgent.
       But if you’re planning only a “get together” with your friends I think you can find a superior location for it. Of course I mean a normal night out with friendly conversation, not the one when you all sit at the same table but everybody is only staring at their laptops screens.

        Posted by Helen