Janitors with higher education and the never ending ladder

        I guess the word “school” for most of western world means the same as “studying” or “educational establishment” as opposed to post Soviet Union space, where it’s used just for one step of education from three main stages that we have.

The first one is secondary school (or just school), which is compulsory for everybody and consist of 11 grades.  The options are: you might study for 11 years and go to university (at age 17) after or you can leave after 9^th grade (at age 15) and enter then a college – the second step of our education, where you can get some professional training and a degree (small degree) in some profession. Colleges are very different here. For example, some of them are equivalent to community colleges (not for apt pupils), the others are quite serious. You’re supposed to study at college for 4 years. Having some sort of “special secondary education” which is given by college you can start working, give up on all of this or go to the third stage − university, the only one which is used with the adjective “higher”. If anybody is curious, I’ve started working at the 3d year of college.

So, in order to get a higher education you have to study for 4 or 5 years and receive respectively a bachelor’s or master’s degree. Maybe it’s strange, but every employer wants to hire someone with a higher education, no matter in what area you’re going to work. They think that if you are able to finish a university, sweeping the sidewalks won’t be a challenging task for you. But it is not the only explanation, why so many people here study in universities. The second reason is that you can pass all three stages of education without paying any money whatsoever and also be given a scholarship. Of course, it depends on your grades and diligence, but you can actually buy your diploma paying for university according to a contract or illegally. That’s why corruption prospers in most of our higher educational establishments and, frankly speaking, I’ve already become a part of it by writing bachelor and master’s degree papers for some lazy students of my university.

           Did I say there were three stages? So here is the fourth one: so called in western countries postgraduate school, where you can earn your Ph. D. degree by defending your (or somebody else’s) thesis. It’s actually a bit different, than in Europe or the USA, and untranslatable in a direct way, so I’m not going to talk about it further. The most amazing thing that Ph. D. is not the last rung of the ladder…


Posted by Helen

School Daze

I learned kind of early that the word School doesn’t have quite the same meaning in both Ukraine and America. I first realized this when I asked a young women which school she attended. She gave me a strange look and stated matter of factly that she finished school and that she was now attending University.

Let me discuss school in America initially and then I shall talk about the modest amount that I know about education in Ukraine. It is important to recognize that when I discuss school in America that the circumstances can be different from state to state or even town to town. In the U.S. most children attend public school that is funded by property taxes. These are taxes that are levied on real estate such as private homes and land by municipalities. Child education is compulsory usually until the age of 16 or so. I started school (kindergarten) at age 5. These days children will usually start preschool between ages 3-4. Some children will attend preschool for more than one year. After kindergarten the next step would be Elementary School which is also known as Grade School. This is usually attended from grades 1-5 or 1-6. A student would say “I’m in first grade” rather that “I’m in grade 1.” In grade school, I was first introduced to the infectious disease of Cooties. I learned that this could be caught by touching a person of the opposite sex that was approximately the same age as me. I think most of my friends stopped using this phrase after the age of 10 but it scared me so I just concentrated on baseball and stayed away from girls until I was twenty-five. I also learned at this time that if I stepped on a (sidewalk) crack that I would break my mother’s back. I was very careful where I stepped. Intermediate School (A.K.A. Middle School or Junior High) would follow usually to the eighth grade. High School would typically be attended for grades 9-12. Students would normally be 14-18 years of age at this time. High School is also called secondary school. In High School someone in the 9th grade is called a freshman, 10th grade a sophomore, 11th grade a junior and 12th grade a senior. At this time I found out about another devastating disease called senioritis. This is a disabling ailment that inflicts high school seniors. Most occurrences of senioritis have a tendency to start after college applications have been mailed. Symptoms usually include skipping class, idleness, a lack of studying and being apathetic all the time. The only known cure is an event known as graduation day. Post secondary school in America is called college. A student could attend a local 2 year community college in hopes of acquiring an Associates Degree (A.A.) or attending a 4 year college or university to get a Bachelor of Arts (B.A.) or Bachelor of Science (B.S.). In college, students are also referred to being in their freshman, sophomore, junior and senior years. Up to High School, education is publicly funded but students would have to pay for college themselves. However, there are many different sources to get funding for college including scholarships and government loans and grants.  The government aid is usually need based. Following college someone would attend Graduate School or a Professional School to study Law, Medicine etc. A principal would be the head of the school up to secondary school while the head of a college is called a dean.

             My understanding of education in Ukraine is very limited. I believe that while Americans use the word school for any education; in Ukraine it is only used up to High School. After that someone would say that they are attending University. Ukrainians that are attending University do not like it when you refer to them using the word school. Also it seems like there are places that have Academy or Institute in their names. This would be a little unusual in America. While there are well known schools such as the U.S. Naval Academy and the Massachusetts Institute of Technology most post secondary schools in America just have college or university in the name.

A word to the wise, if you know someone in Ukraine who works at a school but also attends University; you should never make the mistake of saying something about attending school. I have made this mistake in the past but now it is actually amusing to see the reaction. 

Posted by John

Needful things

I guess the U.S. has good advertising policies that have a huge influence on consumers and fine way to instill your mind with fixed ideas. Seems like all Americans are surrounded by a lot of things that they think they need because of the power of suggestion, but really they don’t. The fact is that just everybody has the THING and you feel like you have to possess it too. And the ad pressure is so intense that you find yourself feeling almost like an outcast if you don’t have something. For example, the toaster…the Bread you eat is already baked. Why should you cook it one more time? Or you think maybe it’s very useful for you to eat heated bread? Not, at all. If nothing helps, and you want it so badly that you are even ready to move back to U.S.; then you can prepare it using a pan or in the oven. The other option, of course, is to buy a toaster at a supermarket.

Clothes dryer, what in hell is that? As far as I understand it even needs its own room or something? I don’t even know whether you can buy it here or not. But why do you have to pay more if you can just hang everything out or up? Many washing machines also have a built-in dryer, so it doesn’t take a lot of time to make your laundry dry. And you have to agree that there is nothing to compare with jeans which can just stand in your corner, because they have been frozen after being hung out in the cold weather. It’s just amazing!

Air conditioners aren’t useful for your health. They make the air drier and cause a big contrast between the temperatures inside the building and outside, so you can get sick in the middle of summer. Also not-having conditioning makes you stronger and you feel like a survivor when the temperature is about +110F (+40-45C) as it used to be last July and August.

But, really, I have nothing to argue with air conditioning, this thing obviously won the prize of needful ones. Without it your brain is just melting and doesn’t work. I also remember last year I felt like dying in a train on my way to Moscow in July…not only because of absence of conditioners, even windows could barely be opened But I think our trains are another topic John wants to discuss. So let’s hang that up in the air for some time in the future.

Posted by Helen

Full of Hot Air

            One item that causes culture shock for Americans living in Ukraine is the deficiency in clothes dryers. I can recall as a child having a humble clothesline in the backyard of our house. We would let the sun and the wind dry the clothing during the summer. The linens would end up smelling like fresh air and sunshine. However, since that time, it seems to me that clotheslines have become as rare as hen’s teeth. This is an old-fashioned technology that our parents and grand parents used. Nearly all Americans are unwilling to hang their clothing out to dry today. Most Americans have dryers that can evaporate the moisture from clothing within an hour of taking them out of the washing machine. Homeowners in America live in houses that were designed to have room for a washer and a dryer. Americans typically would have their laundry room on the lowest floor of the residence. But times have changed and now most homes are designed so that these appliances are on the bedroom level. It is a little different with apartment dwellers. A lot of these people use shared coin operated equipment provided by their landlord or they take their clothing to a Laundromat. Many apartments don’t even have room for a washer or dryer.

            Things are a little different in Ukraine. I have never seen a clothes dryer in a Ukrainian apartment. Maybe they have them hidden behind a secret panel with their toasters and air conditioners? Even if someone wanted to get one there usually is no place to set it. The only major household appliances designed to fit into Ukrainian apartments are refrigerators and washing machines. I have told many of my Ukrainian friends how lucky we are in the United States because of the labor and time we save with this apparatus.

            With all that being said, while I’m writing this I am at my sister’s house in America. Her dryer is broken. She is not somebody that needs to keep up with the Joneses. She knows that there are excellent appliance sales during the Memorial Day weekend, so she is delaying this big ticket purchase. Actually, she is thrifty and patient enough that she has been doing this for months. She has clothing hanging all over the inside of the house. I really like the ones she hangs from the ceiling fans. I guess spinning around like a merry-go-round dries them quicker.  I feel like I’m back in Ukraine. Next thing you know she will be making borsch for dinner.

            Of course, while the Ukrainian method takes more time; it is better for the environment and not using these energy hogs saves some money. Moisture and lint are byproducts of the tumble drying process and some people leave lint outside so it is available for birds to use to make their nests. I’m not sure what the birds in Ukraine make use of for their nests. When I permanently return to America and set up house; I’m certain that I will use a clothesline part time but  believe me,  I could never live without the modern marvel that is the clothes dryer.

Posted by John

Phones with superpowers or lack of knowledge?

   Maybe people in US are use to pretending they are talking on a phone when they aren’t (and people actually believe this?), but Ukrainians aren’t that naïve. If you want to pick up a girl by talking on a phone expressing “superpower”, it probably won’t help unless the phone is very expensive. The main consequence is: you will catch a girl who is just obsessed with expensive devices, but not about boys with superpowers. So, here is the truth: nobody tries to show his phone superpower; just some mobile operators have it. As an example, the very first of them in UA – Kyivstar has the best network coverage and this enables you to make calls from inside the tunnel at almost every place in the subway. John might think now that it’s entirely my fault: if he had known about this earlier he would have bought a superpower SIM-card.

     Speaking of crowded events, I’m not sure whether that’s true. When the connection is overloaded you CAN’T always make a call, but if you are able to do this and somebody isn’t answering, “overloading” might just be an excuse for him not to talk to you. By the way, I was able to receive calls on the square at the same time (Victory day) as opposed to John.

    SMS service is not as inexpensive as phone calls are using Life. You don’t pay anything calling Life subscribers (but it’s also depends on your tariff plan, so now I’m talking about mine), but you have to pay like 5 cents (30 kopecks) for each SMS. If you’re sending a text to someone who is abroad or if you are abroad  yourself you are paying approximately 17 cents (1 hrn, 20 kopecks) for each message.

So my tips are:

·        before buying a SIM-card in UA, you had better find a Ukrainian who is able to explain in English which tariff plan will be better for you (after that you will have him to blame for every problem with your connection);

·        although mobile services aren’t so bad today in UA you still can use “I had problems with my connection” as an excuse if you don’t want to talk;

·        if you’re a bit pretentious or trying to seem like a serious businessman, you SHOULDN’T buy a Life card, because stereotypically it’s just a cheap operator for students. A few years ago it used to be a very weak connection and they gave free SIM-cards to a lot of people just to find subscribers, so their clients were mainly students who are always looking for freebies. Life is not as bad now, though, but the stereotype still exists;

·        you can set up voice mail on your phone, but it’s not popular for some reason.

·        phone calls usually do not do any harm (wherever you are) except in apocalyptic horror novels by Stephen King (for example, Cell, 2006) or if you are extremely “unlucky” (sorry for your phone, John);

·        but that’s true: you can run out of money quick as a wink receiving a call from UA when you are in Russia.

Posted by Helen

        

Life

       Go to Google and type, “What is the meaning of …” The query will be pre-filled with “Life”. I can’t comprehend what the big deal is. In Ukraine, LIFE is a phone company. A better description would be it is a mobile phone service provider.

       In America most people will sign a two year contract for cell phone services. Usually this will mean a free phone and monthly payments of $50.00 - $100.00.  When I first came to Ukraine for a 2 week vacation someone wanted to rent me a phone but I realized that it was a better deal to just buy a phone and get a SIM card. However at that time I had no idea where to buy a phone because my Russian was so limited. I ended up just doing without.

       You have a couple of choices for mobile phone service in Ukraine. First of all, you can just acquire a phone and then get a SIM card. Your service is prepaid so there is no need for a contract. You can buy a card almost anywhere for more time. These can be purchased in different denominations such as 30, 50 or 100 Hryvnia (grivna) plus a small service fee. The card will usually have directions in English on how to refill. The Life card says: “To refill: dial *111*, enter the refill code and the # sign and press dial.” When you do this, Life will send a text message to you. I get these messages all the time and I have no idea what they say. You should find out which service your friends use because most of the time the calls are free with the same provider. Another option is to just use your phone from home and insert a new SIM card. You can only do this if your phone is unlocked. My understanding of my phone plan is very limited. I thought that I could call anyone using LIFE for free but I was recently informed that I could only do this for a month. After that, I would be paying for the calls that I make unless I refilled the phone. You are charged for texts but I’m not really sure how much. I have no way of knowing when my phone time is getting low. I just refill when I’m prevented from making calls or sending texts. I always keep spare ₴50 cards for emergencies.

Some other tips….

• Phones don’t work in the subway. I have seen people using phones in the subway but I’m sure they are just pretending their phone type devices have superpowers.
• Incoming calls are free.
• Life calls end after 30 minutes then you need to redial.
• Most people do not have voice mail unlike America where everyone has voice mail.
• If you call someone when their phone is off then a text is sent notifying them that you called.
• At an event that is very crowded (like last weeks Victory Day in Freedom square) phones may not work because the nearest cell tower is overloaded.
• Strangely enough my phone works in America and Russia but not in Moldova (I promise this is a real country. I believe it is near Grenomia) which is obviously much closer. It may not be a good idea to make or receive a call out of Ukraine because it will use up all the time on the phone of the paying person. Someone called me in Russia once and it killed my phone. I couldn’t even send text messages and I could not refill the phone. Never let this happen if you are in any sort of relationship. 

Posted by John